2b. Journal writing experience.

 2b. Journal writing experience.

To start this writing task I did exactly what was recommended I put a pin in my dairy and saw were it landed. It just so happened to fall on Wednesday the 10^th of November. This day was no ordinary day it was one that was highly awaited by not just myself but also those of my Btec Dance course as it was the day of their first Practical assessment. At First I thought this wouldn’t be an ideal day to use but thinking through it I realised it was the perfect event to write about as there was so many emotions and events taking place. I also thought it was an ideal way for me to in detail study every aspect of the day and learn for future experiences.

            On the 10^th on November at Upton-By-Chester high School 12 Girls eagerly awaited there first assessment for their Btec National certificate. The assessment was to take place at 5.00pm. During this assessment they were to show there development in Jazz and contemporary technique. For the Jazz assessment they were to perform a whole rehearsed class to a panel which consisted of Myself Jessica Hunt (jazz tutor) Jade green and Wendy Peirce (external dance tutor). They were also to perform a contemporary piece inspired by Isadora Duncan to the panel to show there level of performance and technical ability.

            5.00am was long awaited as the Btec Group had been working towards this in there 2 three hour a week sessions. Although the students taking part were anxious I was also as I had been working closely with the group to get them prepared for their contemporary assessment. I woke up that morning with a flutter of nervousness and excitement in my stomach. I wasn’t expecting to feel the way I did as time grew on that day as I found myself getting more and more anxious about the afternoon’s events. As I pulled into the school gates that fluttered had turned into a little tornado inside me as the reality of these girls getting assessed on what I had taught them sank in. I couldn’t help but think had thought them enough had I explained the intension of the piece they were about to perform properly. My main worry was that were the girls going to perform to the best of their ability like I knew they could! My mood was extremely erratic that day due to my emotions being so high one moment id be down whilst I was doubting myself but then it would completely change as I thought   about how much these 12 girls had accomplished. This lead me to think more detail about does what we think affect our moods and actions? After this event think it does. As the 12 girls nervously came into the studio at the long awaited 5.00pm a huge sense of pride came over me as the 12 girls looked immaculate and performed better than I ever could have imagined. As this emotion came over I felt my mood completely transform and it effected my actions and also my body language. I don’t normally study my body language but as we were in a dance studio I was surrounded by mirrors and noticed that my posture and   way of moving had changed all due to what I was thinking and what emotion I was experiencing.  In the guidebook it said“ did anything unexpected happened” and I thought to myself no nothing happened that had a huge effect on the event, but one thing unexpected did happened for one of my students taking part. Throughout the course one of the girls taking part has been extremely under confident and myself and others were worried of her chance to pass the course. Although throughout the assessment she seemed to blossom and transform into someone I had never seen before she was confident and her whole body lines seemed to have just changed. It reminded me of the process of when a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly and everything about that thing about that living thing changes. This was unexpected but it was extremely positive and I feel has completely changed on persons confidence and ability to perform.  

I’ve decided to create a list of what I thought felt in that day so it will be easier for me to evaluate and learn from. It will also be interesting to see the process of what I felt and were it lead to.

Things I saw.

My own body language change.

One dancer completely transforms

12 girls perform to the best of their ability.

All my teaching work came together.

Things I felt.

Anxiousness

Nervous

Excitement

A great sense of pride

Relief.  

It was really interesting for me to look at that list of what I felt as  it went on its own journey and I think that if someone were to look at that list they would be able to see the event that took place.

I think that the day was a complete success I think that the whole assessment was a great learning experience not only for myself but for the students taking part. The biggest thing I have learnt from this is that if I want to get the best out of a student I need to be aware of what they are thinking and what mood they are in. This has also made me aware that if a student in overly nervous of has a negative mental attitude it doesn’t only effect there way of thinking but it also effects there performance. This writing exercise has really brought to light that a prep confidence talk or building someone’s self-esteem really effects there overall progress and performance and to stay well clear of piling on unnecessary pressure.

During the assessment I couldn’t be help think “what if”. Whilst watching them perform I could just visualise the contemporary piece being performed on a large stage. As I thought this I my mind just went away with itself i started visualising the lighting set. I would have loved for it to have had a simple black drop with just white light floor lights and spot lights to follow each dancers own dancer and mental journey throughout the piece. I found myself even imagining the costume it would have been white and tried to have complimented the era that Isadora Duncan was alive. The piece was extremely tense and I imagined what that tension would visually look I continued to do this throughout the piece finding myself trying to imagine what all the emotions that were being portrayed looked like and I really wish I could express what I see them as on paper. I really wish we had to opportunity to do what I had imagined as I think it would have been spectacular.

Throughout the day of the assessment I couldn’t help but think what the girls were thinking and feeling themselves, and what emotional journey they went on themselves. From being with the girls most of the day I got the sense that they were all extremely nervous. At one point one of the girls said she felt like her stomach was doing moving around her body. I feel that they saw they day in a different perspective to myself as this was there mark and I feel that they wanted to show how much they had developed. I am going to ask the Btec group to write a short paragraph on how they felt and see if it is what I expected.

I have taken so much from this day and more now from doing this reflective task. I have learnt some critical things about moods and body language that I have taken into my professional practice of teaching. The fact that ever student on the course blossomed throughout the assessment has made me more enthusiastic about teaching and learning new ways of confidence building. For the next assessment I will defiantly change the lead up to the assessment and not force on as much pressure as It had a negative effect on some students. This day has really effected the way I teach and really has stuck out not only to me but to the students in this month and I aim to use what I have learnt to help my in this professional practice course. I am defiantly going to look more into “does your personal mood affect performance”.